the letter

My dearest,
I know you since you were born...I have been there since your first heartbeat, felt every emotion, every rush, every guilt, every mistake and every moment of joy. I hated your brain for some of the decisions he made, I blamed your soul for being sometimes weak and I wanted to speak to you for so long...but I never knew how.

I know you are in pain, I feel every little thought and I can see how the guilt suffocates you sometimes...I know how much you miss the ones you're away from, I know how much you wish things were different...
But life is a journey and you don't always have the choice in your hands, even if your brain thinks otherwise, sometimes someone else decides and changes the course of your life. Sometimes you make mistakes in order to see  how lost you are, how far away from yourself you swam...and you have to realize that the first and most important thing is to take care of yourself.

There is no hidden purpose in life, YOU are the purpose, your journey, your emotional developement, the understanding of yourself, of your so called errors , all those are the purpose. The mistakes you make have a reason...like everything in life...you know, you loose someone to understand your weakneses and if you're strong enough you will hurt, you will mourn, you will adjust, you will change and you will be again in balance. But my dear girl, never ever try to find your balance in someone else.

I know the way you love...the way you loose yourself, the way you want to give all your soul, to sacrifice everything you are so you could be loved in return and when you loose the love of the other one, you feel like you just died. My silly little girl...love doesn't come with sacrifices, or with fear, or with changing your entire way of being!

Love is acceptance and giving without asking for anything in return, you have it or you don't! There's no barganing involved. You dont have to struggle, to try so hard, to beat yourself...no, you just have to be yourself. I am not saying that in life you shoudn't aim for perfection, but not in love.

I just want to ask you one thing: please...in the future don't accept any less then to be loved in return, cause I know how much you have to give and I also know that's all you need.

Stay strong, wake up in the morning and let time do his job...you will be healed, even though we both know there will always be scars left.

With all my love,

Your heart.